A Portrait of the Modern Confederate American: A Tragicomedy

By |Tuesday, August 25th, 2015|Categories: Humor, Satire, Society|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

1:37 PM on a humid Southern Saturday.

A stylized portrait of Robert E. Lee stares back at him as he flips open his MacBook Pro. Upon navigating to Walmart.com, he types “confedarate flag” into the search bar (his previous flag was ripped sheer off the pole during an especially intense mudding sesh the night prior).

Though he’s sad his trusty ol’ confederate flag has suffered an untimely demise, the prospect of buying a brand new one fills his heart

Stoner Essentials #5 – Best Ashtrays for the Weed-Friendly Household

By |Monday, August 24th, 2015|Categories: Drugs, Product Reviews|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Let’s be real, smoking weed can be a messy affair.

One of the messiest parts of smoking weed is, of course, the whole ash aspect. Or “ashpect,” if you’re Sean Connery.

Before learning of the following products, I made quite a mess in my house by ashing into makeshift ashtrays over the years – including, but not limited to, beer cans, the top parts of scented candles, and little makeshift ghetto-ass tin

Stoner Essentials #4 – Get Away with Smoking Weed Anywhere

It’s been nearly half a decade since James wrote about Smoking Weed at Home and College without getting caught or smelling up your entire house or dorm. So when he started writing these “Stoner Essentials,” it seemed appropriate to highlight some items that would go along with it.

And by “appropriate,” I mean, “bleedingly obvious.”

Either way, as he mentioned in the first article about smoking inside your house, there are essentially three products every weed

Stoner Essentials #3 – Best Scales for Weighing Weed

By |Wednesday, July 1st, 2015|Categories: Product Reviews|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

A nice digital pocket scale is a must-have for any weed smoker. Most people think of weed scales as something only pot dealers need, but even if you’re not in the business of selling weed, it’s wise to invest in a scale for a number of reasons.

The most obvious of which is the power to discern whether or not your weed dealer is shorting you. But other than that, a weed scale comes

8 TRUTHS that PROVE Listicle Writers are not KITTEN RAPISTS!!1

By |Saturday, June 20th, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Listicles. They’re the best thing to happen to the internet since the advent of free porn tubes.

This is a listicle dedicated to listicle writers, who work so hard to entertain the ADHD riddled masses of the world.

Stoner Essentials #2 – Best Storage Containers to Keep Your Weed Fresh

By |Wednesday, June 10th, 2015|Categories: Drugs, Humor, Product Reviews|Tags: , , , , , , |1 Comment

Best Airtight Weed Storage Containers of 2015

In the last edition, I let my readers in on a little tip when it comes to buying weed paraphernalia: Amazon.com.

The next category we’ll focus on is the best airtight containers for storing weed.

Anyone who smokes weed on a regular basis should invest in an airtight storage container of some sort. No one likes stale, dry-ass weed.

But other than that, they’s plenty of reasons a

Stoner Essentials #1 – Best Weed Grinders of 2015

By |Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015|Categories: Drugs, Product Reviews|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Best Weed Grinders of 2015

Most people don’t know this, but Amazon.com is a great place to get cheap weed-related paraphanalia. While they aren’t exactly an online headshop (they don’t sell bongs, pipes, or anything obvious like that) they have a lot of great products every weed smoker should have.

In this edition, I will highlight the best weed grinders available on Amazon.

Tripping on Sassafras (a.k.a. MDA)

By |Sunday, November 30th, 2014|Categories: Drugs, Humor, Life|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

11:07pm (on a Monday):

For some reason I decided to ingest a drug my friend referred to as Sassafras, which is just slang for MDA. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done MDA.

I do, however, know that I’m going to be up all night on this shit.

Ever since writing “The DMT Experience“, which I wrote in the month following the experience, I wanted to

Tales from Weekend Jail

By |Sunday, November 9th, 2014|Categories: Life, Society|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments

It starts on a Friday night.

Depression sinks in. Sitting in traffic after a long week at work, painfully aware that my only free time for the next 7 days is squashed. Leaving the office at 5:00pm allows just enough time to navigate the clusterfuck of Virginia Beach rush-hour traffic between me and my destination. Nothing more.

Overwrought, I envision the next 48 hours.

∴ ∴ ∴

I was arrested for a DUI 3 months ago. It happened on

How To Get Away With Stuff #4: Pulling Off the Fake ID

By |Wednesday, October 15th, 2014|Categories: Humor, Life, Society|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

Everyone’s been there.

The party is dying, and FAST. The bottle of Grey Goose you stole from your parent’s freezer is finished, the 6 pack your buddy talked his older brother into giving you is depleted, and the people are getting antsy. The girls are about to leave, because this once smooth-sailing get together is on its way to a spectacular crash.

You and your friends are starting to get nervous. After all, you’re the ones who are supposed

Changing perspectives on Ferguson

By |Monday, September 22nd, 2014|Categories: Life, Politics, Society|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Tensions have risen across the country in the wake of the shooting death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. While we don’t have all the facts as to what prompted Darren Wilson to kill Brown, the event certainly has brought to light the issues people of color in that community have had with the police in the past.

It has also provided us with a debate on the militarization of local police departments,

Why I Love Read Receipts

By |Monday, September 15th, 2014|Categories: Humor, Technology|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Read receipts have achieved a certain level of infamy in the smartphone world. It’s understandable that people are wary of such a feature.

Allow me to explain, for the dwindling race of smartphone-lacking heathens reading this out there (on their antiquated laptops, I presume), that a “read receipt” (pronounced “red”, not “reed”) is a notification to the sender of a text, or texter, that the receiver of the text, or textee, has read the texter’s text.

And for the record, “texter”