E*TRADE Baby


Am I the only one who thinks that baby looks a little too young to be in time-out? I mean, he looks like 7, maybe 8 months old at most!

What could a child that young possibly do to warrant a time-out? I mean, the commercial implies it was for riding the dog. I have two things to say to that:

  1. That dog is clearly large enough to support the approximate weight of that talking baby.
  2. What kind of shitty mother even takes her eyes off a fucking baby, talking or not, long enough for the baby to get on the dog in the first place? This isn’t Rugrat’s, bitch; this is real life.

Yeah, Tommy used to ride Spike when his negligent old fart of a grandfather would inevitably pass the fuck out, but Tommy also got straight kidnapped out of his front yard by two middle aged men in the first season. Your baby won’t come back from that shit in real life unless it’s in a trash bag being dug out of a shallow grave.

I keeps it real.

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