Everything Wrong with Today's Youth

Okay so this might be too early in my blogging career to talk about this; I don’t have the biggest reader base and new readers might totally be turned off by it…But oh well.So I had a dream this morning… I say this morning because it was the dream I was dreaming when I woke up. I’m not sure if it has any meaning or what that meaning would be if it did. I’ll just delve into the details.

I was at a movie theater. Front row. Don’t know why. Don’t know where – though it was familiar. Don’t know with whom – although I was surrounded by “faceless dream friends”. Don’t even know what movie was playing.

But whatever movie it was, it must have been exciting because the other little detail is that, for some reason, I had my dick out and was masturbating. Like, not blatantly or anything. I was being a sneaky little horn dog. Everyone was focused on the movie, not the uncontrollable vigor with which I was pleasuring myself.

But all of a sudden, I realize I’m not being all that sneaky, and people around me may have noticed. This thought remains in my head (in the dream) as I continue to yank my jank. As though I was embarrassed by my actions yet not enough to stop them.

At this point, one of the movie workers came up to me with their stupid orange air-traffic-control-looking flashlight-cones approaches me. I still don’t know if he approached me knowing I was jerking off or if he was doing it for some other reason, but regardless, his eyes happened upon my erect penis.

The weirdest part of the whole thing is that his response was to just kinda whisper, “Hey, put that away, man” as if he were talking about a cell phone or something.

My response: “Oh word, yeah I gotcha dude.”

And then I woke up.

Certainly ended better for me than Paul Reubens.