How to Get Away with Stuff #2 – Smoking Weed at College


Oh yes, here we are. It’s time for the second post in EWWTY’s special How to Get Away with Stuff features. This time we are addressing how to get away with smoking weed at college.

While my readers are already pros at smoking weed at home, I would be remiss if my next step was not to instruct them the safe and sneaky ways to smoke weed in their college dorm room and get away with it.

Smoking marijuana in your dorm room is never safe. The college or university owns your dorm room, and therefore has the right to come in and search on a whim. Your rights as a United States citizen are not the same as your rights as a student of the college or university you attend.

Just as I mentioned early in the first “How to Get Away with Stuff” post, and despite the fact that I have smoked weed regularly for over five years now, I have never been caught smoking marijuana at college, home, or by police. And I’m not lucky enough a person for that to have been by luck.

Remember, if you follow exactly what I say, you will have the knowledge needed to smoke weed at college without getting caught.


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22 thoughts on “How to Get Away with Stuff #2 – Smoking Weed at College”

  1. Seriously dude? No offense but thats kinda ignorant to post something saying the dorm being hotter would cause an inward flow, when if you’ve ever taken any physics or chemistry at all you’d know that a higher temperature will cause an OUTWARD flow. Jus sayin man, sry for bein a prick but I gotta back my “green habits” up with some physical evidence. Prove me wrong, but I always use a towel.

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    1. Hmm, I still think I’m right here, but I’m very glad you challenged me on this, because I never really looked in to it as much as I should have.
      I found a nice description of this principle here. Allow me to quote:

      Air does indeed flow from high pressure to low pressure area (see the wind arrows on a weather chart), but in the case of two rooms the much more important effect is that of warm thinner air rising towards the ceiling when the air from the two rooms gets mixed.

      Thus, cold air from the cold room will be leaving the room close to the floor (if the temperature difference is large enough you can actually feel it, otherwise you can use a candle to detect the direction of air movement). At the same time, warm air from the warm room will rise and move into the cold room close to the ceiling (again, sometimes you can feel this otherwise you can detect it with a candle). Similar air movements take place between your house and the outside when you open your house’s door in winter or summer.

      So, according to this principle, if your dorm room is hotter than the hallway, it will cause an inward flow of air toward the bottom of the door, which is where the towel would be anyway. You are right to say that this won’t necessarily cause an absolute inward flow, as the air might be flowing outward toward the top of the door. However, I stand by my assertion that if your room is a good bit hotter than the hallway, at least 4-5 degrees, this will generate an absolute inward flow around the top and bottom of the door. As long as the temperature around your door is warmer than the temperature on the other side, it should generate inward airflow. I’m no scientist though.

      For the record, I still use a towel regardless. But there are cons of doing so in some situations. For instance, an RA can sometimes see from the hallway that there is a towel there, which may tip them off.

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  2. I love the comments about the joints or the giant ass bongs lmao. I swear some people are just flat out stupid; get some experience in high school dealing with hiding weed from authority before going into college thinking you can just smoke weed in your dorm willy-nilly. Don’t be stupid is the biggest rule.

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  3. I put a quarter (or penny, depending on the size) on the bowl of my bubbler once I’m done lighting. This keeps the smoke from the embers in when I inhale, majorly reducing smell.

    *Pothead Med Student*

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  4. Although I don’t have the balls to try such a stunt, I love the way this was written. I’m a stoner, fer sure, but school’s my main priority and I wanna lay low on the radar; unfortunately, I was caught by PS and have a major violation as of now. My RA is cool shit, so long as you’re not stupid with drinking or smoking. Kudos to you for never getting caught. I’m jealous, bro.

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  5. Another tip if you’re just using a simple bowl is to only pack one hitters. A lot of times between hits smoke will drift off, thus causing smelly smell. If you pack one hitters you won’t need to worry about it.

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  6. Lol at the Ra getting fukd up, I’m in Australia and have been smoking professionally for around a year, security at uni has tried fucking us but u just gota be smart! U may be baked of ur titts but don’t let ur guard down, these cunts will take any chance they get, as the RA stated! We simply have a fan facing the open window, and spray! And lock ur door!

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  7. You can smoke pretty much whaterrver you want. Even if the RA is at your door knocking with a cop they cannot enter your room because they have no legal reason to enter you room because they cannot prove that your room is the one that smells like pot. You just can’t leave the room till they leave the door

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    1. When Wieel I Reeeech Theese Kiiids?

      Are you a freshman or something? Either way, you’re logic is off. But it’s okay, I used to think the exact same thing. However, I have seen stoner after stoner with that belief system be expelled from school in handcuffs. After studying political science for a number of semesters, it’s easy to articulate why. Unless you’re living off campus (which I assume you don’t or RA’s wouldn’t be a factor), PLEASE take heed of my advice. Just because your college or university is in the United States – or for that matter even funded by your state – does not mean you have a right to privacy whilst quartered in their dorm rooms. And they do belong to them, regardless of what you agreed to pay them to live there. The owner of property is not subject to the Constitution; the constitution is only concerned with setting the parameters for how government may operate, not institutions of higher learning.

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      1. This is wrong, wrong, WRONG. While I enjoyed your article, I have to disagree with you here. RAs are NOT legally allowed to enter your dorm room. When you come to a campus they make you sign a contract, stating you understand the rules of the land (I’m assuming, because most universities/colleges do). Well, that’s your living contract. Just like a tenet in a building, with other RENTERS. Because that is all students are. Renters of their dorm rooms. LEGALLY, students are paying RENT for the room, so they don’t have to let anyone in there they don’t want to. Just like it was your own apartment. At my very own university someone was called up for smoking pot. The police on campus and the RAs were NOT ALLOWED to enter the room, even though the smell was VERY present in the dorm halls, because they know they weren’t legally allowed to. (No legal actions were taken against the student, who did end up giving over weed and a pipe to the officers, either.)

        So, just… Don’t.

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    2. Dude, I’m an RA, and I can come into your room without warning whenever I feel like it, as long as I have probable cause. Probable cause can be stretched into anything I want it to be, and my supervisor doesn’t have to be there, he will just read the report the next day and take my word for it. Trust me.

      Your logic is way off bro…if you live in a dorm, you don’t own the space you’re living in. You’re simply leasing it from the University, and since it is their property, they make the rules. You can’t throw that “you need a warrant” shit and expect to get away with it for even one second…all of the on campus residents at my school sign that right away when they move in.

      I have a master key and I have keyed into rooms for the smell of cigarettes and candles before, so I can definitely do it for weed. If I smell it on my hall, hell, I’ll go in every single room if I feel like it. I just can’t accuse you of doing it until I find it, that’s all.

      If you want to get away, buy a smoke buddy or find something with a very strong citrus smell.

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      1. Hey you may be an RA, but I hope you’re not busting these guys all the time. Kids drink in their dorms more often, which I hope you’ve done, or else you can kindly fuck yourself. If it causes a problem with neighbors, sure you’re obligated to say something to them first. If its a persistent problem, then its your job to report it.

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      2. But don’t run to your coordinators ratting them out for fucks sake. Busting someone over this shit ruins lives. Being expelled results in a loss of thousands of dollars for something that is more common than anyone likes to acknowledge. Yea, they could go hang out with the anime fags, but if cunts like you would let kids so their thing, no one gets harmed. Stop taking your gay ass job so seriously dude, be their friend not their parent and maybe they’ll listen to you. College is about networking with peers, not losers who ended up babysitting 18 year olds

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  8. Hey thanks for the heads up. So yeah im an incoming frosh entering college and i dont have a bong or anything so i figured id buy a glass spoon and take it with me. Is that fine as opposed to a grav. bong or w.e? Thanks

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  9. Oh, good question, I totally forgot about that one.

    All you gotta do it put a piece of tape over the part that detects the smoke. If you use scotch tape your RA’s probably won’t even notice. If you can’t tell where the part that actually detects the smoke is, just find a plastic bag (make sure it doesn’t have any holes) and tape the bag around the entire smoke detector.

    Thanks for asking.

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