James Kalìwæ

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About James Kalìwæ

As a 25 year old undergraduate with a blog, James is unarguably the coolest, most successful dude among his peers. Sure, many of them are in "bands" or have "jobs" with "salaries" and "health benefits." But none of them will ever know the joy that comes with the ability to approach any beautiful woman and say, "Wanna go back to my place? I'm a blogger, by the way." Which is a shame, as James cares very deeply for his friends, and suffers injurious pity on a daily basis aware of the future loneliness for which his immense success will undoubtedly impose upon him. More junt here ->

A Portrait of the Modern Confederate American: A Tragicomedy

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1:37 PM on a humid Southern Saturday.

A stylized portrait of Robert E. Lee stares back at him as he flips open his MacBook Pro. Upon navigating to Walmart.com, he types “confedarate flag” into the search bar (his previous flag was ripped sheer off the pole during an especially intense mudding sesh the night prior).

Though he’s sad his trusty ol’ confederate flag has suffered an untimely demise, the prospect of buying a brand new one fills his heart


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Stoner Essentials #5 – Best Ashtrays for the Weed-Friendly Household

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Let’s be real, smoking weed can be a messy affair.

One of the messiest parts of smoking weed is, of course, the whole ash aspect. Or “ashpect,” if you’re Sean Connery.

Before learning of the following products, I made quite a mess in my house by ashing into makeshift ashtrays over the years – including, but not limited to, beer cans, the top parts of scented candles, and little makeshift ghetto-ass tin


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Stoner Essentials #3 – Best Scales for Weighing Weed

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A nice digital pocket scale is a must-have for any weed smoker. Most people think of weed scales as something only pot dealers need, but even if you’re not in the business of selling weed, it’s wise to invest in a scale for a number of reasons.

The most obvious of which is the power to discern whether or not your weed dealer is shorting you. But other than that, a weed scale comes


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8 TRUTHS that PROVE Listicle Writers are not KITTEN RAPISTS!!1

By |Saturday, June 20th, 2015|Categories: Humor|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

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Listicles. They’re the best thing to happen to the internet since the advent of free porn tubes.

This is a listicle dedicated to listicle writers, who work so hard to entertain the ADHD riddled masses of the world.


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Stoner Essentials #2 – Best Storage Containers to Keep Your Weed Fresh

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Best Airtight Weed Storage Containers of 2015

In the last edition, I let my readers in on a little tip when it comes to buying weed paraphernalia: Amazon.com.

The next category we’ll focus on is the best airtight containers for storing weed.

Anyone who smokes weed on a regular basis should invest in an airtight storage container of some sort. No one likes stale, dry-ass weed.

But other than that, they’s plenty of reasons a


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Stoner Essentials #1 – Best Weed Grinders of 2015

By |Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015|Categories: Drugs, Product Reviews|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

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Best Weed Grinders of 2015

Most people don’t know this, but Amazon.com is a great place to get cheap weed-related paraphanalia. While they aren’t exactly an online headshop (they don’t sell bongs, pipes, or anything obvious like that) they have a lot of great products every weed smoker should have.

In this edition, I will highlight the best weed grinders available on Amazon.


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Tripping on Sassafras (a.k.a. MDA)

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11:07pm (on a Monday):

For some reason I decided to ingest a drug my friend referred to as Sassafras, which is just slang for MDA. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done MDA.

I do, however, know that I’m going to be up all night on this shit.

Ever since writing “The DMT Experience“, which I wrote in the month following the experience, I wanted to


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Why I Love Read Receipts

By |Monday, September 15th, 2014|Categories: Humor, Technology|Tags: , , , , , , , , |0 Comments

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Read receipts have achieved a certain level of infamy in the smartphone world. It’s understandable that people are wary of such a feature.

Allow me to explain, for the dwindling race of smartphone-lacking heathens reading this out there (on their antiquated laptops, I presume), that a “read receipt” (pronounced “red”, not “reed”) is a notification to the sender of a text, or texter, that the receiver of the text, or textee, has read the texter’s text.

And for the record, “texter”


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DMT Series: Peter Meyer – Part One

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In 1992, Peter Meyer published Apparent Communication with Discarnate Entities Induced by Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) on his website Serendipity (which is still active today – if you’re curious what the internet looked like in the 90’s, visit that website) probably the very first DMT-related article that focused specifically on the DMT beings, whom I spoke of in my previous entry. It posits a lot of interesting ideas.

However, the last time it was updated was 1997. And frankly, it’s not very well


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The Big Hullabaloo Surrounding DMT

By |Monday, July 7th, 2014|Categories: Drugs|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

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Dimethyltryptamine is the Bryan Cranston of drugs right now.

Like Mr. Cranston, DMT has been around forever, but has exploded in well-deserved popularity over the past five years.

But DMT, like Mr. Cranston, enjoyed varying levels of attention long before then. Most psychedelic drug users from two decades ago surely knew of Dr. Rick Strassman. Similarly, most TV viewers from two decades ago surely knew of Dr. Tim Whatley.

In the same way Mr. Cranston’s superb acting


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An Interview with Mike Strong: The Hopes, Challenges, and Zeal of a Rapper Chasing Stardom

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Money. Power. Respect.

Every human yearns for that shit.

Most seek to attain these intangible possessions through conventional means. Responsibility means walking the path already traveled. To choose the ladder already climbed.

Some humans, however, seek to clear their own path to these social constructs. To build and climb their own ladder. To eschew convention. Entrepreneurs. Entertainers. Artists.

Since Western society began embracing these humans during the Renaissance, millions of creative individuals have gained societal prominence throughout history; each of whom chiseled


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My First Interview

By |Friday, June 27th, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

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I kind of made a big hullabaloo like three months ago over my commitment toward writing again.

About a month and a half later I published the saga of my Adderall addiction. It took me that long to write.

I realize that any old schmo who comes across this blog would think, “this guy is a whole lot of talk – not so much execution.”

Well


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