Author Archives: James Kalìwæ

Profile photo of James Kalìwæ

About James Kalìwæ

As a 25 year old undergraduate with a blog, James is unarguably the coolest, most successful dude among his peers. Sure, many of them are in "bands" or have "jobs" with "salaries" and "health benefits." But none of them will ever know the joy that comes with the ability to approach any beautiful woman and say, "Wanna go back to my place? I'm a blogger, by the way." Which is a shame, as James cares very deeply for his friends, and suffers injurious pity on a daily basis aware of the future loneliness for which his immense success will undoubtedly impose upon him. More junt here ->

Cali Crusher Homegrown 4 Piece Pocket Grinder Gold

Shredder Wars Episode I: Attack of the Homegrown

Battle of the High-End Cannabis Grinders – Part One

I began my whole journey of writing marijuana inspired product reviews a few months ago with the Stoner Essentials series, which I kicked off with a review of some of my favorite budget-friendly grinders.

However, my intent with that first review was to cover quality yet inexpensive grinders, as I knew first hand that Amazon has a surplus of them. I swear, there are more grinders in the warehouses of Amazon than on gay men’s smartphones.

Anyway, my focus with that first review was to showcase the best grinders that get the job done without breaking the bank. And truth be told, I was just testing the waters of the whole Amazon Associates program, which I have fallen in love with at this point. Not just because of the spare change it’s netted me thus far, but the excuse to buy an absurd amount of weed paraphernalia is just swell. Dandy, even. Continue reading

A mound of cannabis kief on top of a knife.

Weed Kief & You: A Love Story

The glorious bounty of delicious weed kief that a nice cannabis grinder bestows upon its owner is a good reason to start using one. It gets you high as fuck.

But let’s backtrack a little bit for my readers uninitiated to the world of kief. What exactly is kief? How do you go about getting your hands on it? And what’s the historical significance and context of this particular gift from the cannabis gods?

…Okay, I doubt anyone came across this article with that last question in mind – that’s just the history nerd in me poopin’ all over this party. Don’t mind me.

Anyway, to get the first question out of the way, weed kief is much more than just weed that has been pulverized into a fine powder. Kief is actually an accumulation of trichomes, otherwise known as the fine hairs and crystals found on healthy, quality cannabis buds. Most commonly a side effect of shredding buds in a grinder with a mesh sifter, there’s also a number of ways to extract kief from a batch of weed – a process I’ll cover in this post. Continue reading

Hi Liter Magic Marker Pen Pipe with hidden inner pipe exposed.

Stoner Essentials #6 – Smoke Weed Anywhere with these Inconspicuous Pipes

Best Pipes for Inconspicuous Smoking

So as you’ve probably gathered by now, I’ve spent quite a lot of time trudging through the digital aisles of Amazon to find some awesome and inexpensive products for my fellow weed smoking cohorts. For the sake of transparency, I might as well mention that the five reviews preceding this one have netted me a whopping $29.32 this August. Which is nice, but I don’t expect these reviews to hoist my ass from the sea of student loan debt in which I’ve immersed myself.

Anyway, I’m rambling. My point is, having spent so much time on Amazon searching for stoner related items, I’ve come to realize that Amazon is essentially a big-ass headshop. For instance, I had no idea they sold glass “tobacco” pipes, which are definitely not for smoking tobacco.

I’ll do a review on those later. But for now, in the spirit of keeping with the “Get away with smoking” theme, I’m gonna highlight a bunch of pipes that are meant to make it easier to smoke weed in places and situations where you probably shouldn’t be smoking weed.

Next Page →

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Confederate flag waving in the dark evening

A Portrait of the Modern Confederate American: A Tragicomedy

1:37 PM on a humid Southern Saturday.

A stylized portrait of Robert E. Lee stares back at him as he flips open his MacBook Pro. Upon navigating to, he types “confedarate flag” into the search bar (his previous flag was ripped sheer off the pole during an especially intense mudding sesh the night prior).

Though he’s sad his trusty ol’ confederate flag has suffered an untimely demise, the prospect of buying a brand new one fills his heart will wondrous merriment. Continue reading

A photo of the Kashtray

Stoner Essentials #5 – Best Ashtrays for the Weed-Friendly Household

Let’s be real, smoking weed can be a messy affair.

One of the messiest parts of smoking weed is, of course, the whole ash aspect. Or “ashpect,” if you’re Sean Connery.

Before learning of the following products, I made quite a mess in my house by ashing into makeshift ashtrays over the years – including, but not limited to, beer cans, the top parts of scented candles, and little makeshift ghetto-ass tin foil junts I’ve resorted to making myself.

No bullshit, the box that my very first cell phone came in is, as we speak, (not very well) hidden in my old room at my parent’s house, overflowing with damn near a decade’s worth of old weed ash. I still use it whenever I visit. Every time I tell myself I’m going to take care of it. I never do.

I’m contrite to admit, there’ve even been times I’ve just kind off… tossed that junt behind the couch like a booger. I know, shame on me twice; once for doing that, and again for implying that throwing boogers around all willy-nilly is somehow okay. Continue reading

Stoner Essentials 3 Scales

Stoner Essentials #3 – Best Scales for Weighing Weed

A nice digital scale is a must-have for any weed smoker. Most people think of scales as a product only pot dealers need, but even if you’re not in the business of selling weed, it’s wise to invest in a scale for a number of reasons.

The most obvious of which is the power to discern whether or not your weed dealer is shorting you. But other than that, a digital weed scale just comes in handy in a lot of situations. If you’ve ever gone in on a sack with one or more friends, you probably wished you had a pocket scale to split up the sack with accuracy. Continue reading presents Stoner Essentials #2 - Best Storage Containers for Weed

Stoner Essentials #2 – Best Storage Containers to Keep Your Weed Fresh

Best Airtight Weed Storage Containers of 2015

In the last edition, I let my readers in on a little tip when it comes to buying weed paraphernalia:

The next category we’ll focus on is the best airtight containers for storing weed.

Anyone who smokes weed on a regular basis should invest in an airtight storage container of some sort. No one likes stale, dry-ass weed.

But other than that, they’s plenty of reasons a stoner should have a quality airtight container to store/transport their weed. Continue reading


Stoner Essentials #1 – Best Cheap Weed Grinders of 2015

Best Weed Grinders for Smokers on a Budget

Most people don’t know this, but is a great place to get cheap weed-related paraphanalia. While they aren’t exactly an online headshop they have a lot of great products every weed smoker should have.

In this edition, I will highlight the best weed grinders available on Amazon.

Weed grinders are a must have for any stoner. Besides the convenience of not having to use your fingers to manually break up your buds every time you go to smoke, they’re a great way to build up a reservoir of kief, which will get the whole block high as fuck.
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MDA Drug Capsules

Tripping on Sassafras (a.k.a. MDA)

11:07pm (on a Monday):

For some reason I decided to ingest a drug my friend referred to as Sassafras, which is just slang for MDA. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done MDA.

I do, however, know that I’m going to be up all night on this shit.

Ever since writing “The DMT Experience“, which I wrote in the month following the experience, I wanted to write about another hallucinogenic drug while tripping on it. Not an original idea, of course; I’m certainly not the first person to try.

But I like to trip balls, and I like to write, so I’m going to do both, because America.

It’s quite likely this post will end with incomprehensible blabber. Fair warning. Continue reading


Why I Love Read Receipts

Read receipts have achieved a certain level of infamy in the smartphone world. It’s understandable that people are wary of such a feature.

Allow me to explain, for the dwindling race of smartphone-lacking heathens reading this out there (on their antiquated laptops, I presume), that a “read receipt” (pronounced “red”, not “reed”) is a notification to the sender of a text, or texter, that the receiver of the text, or textee, has read the texter’s text.

And for the record, “texter” and “textee” are hereby words. Get with the program, Merriam-Webster!

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I am Everything Wrong With Today's Youth

I guess you could say I’m everything wrong with today’s youth.

I am a product of the Digital Age. I have always had access to any and all information I could ever want in a matter of seconds.

I grew up with a screen in front of my face at all times; a constant overload of facts and opinions for my brain to process. I am always having ideas forced down my throat. Images burned into my retinas. I have an insatiable appetite for stimulation. To be entertained. To be hearing. Watching. Playing. Continue reading