Everything Wrong with Today's Youth

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Posts from the ‘Humor’ category

Six Good Reasons I Smoke Weed Featured

Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I am the founder of, and lone contributor to, a blog in which smoking weed is a primary focus (to put it lightly). It kind of goes without saying, I like to smoke marijuana.

Anyone who smokes weed often enough has been asked, usually condescendingly, some form of the following question:

  • Why do you smoke weed?

The other day a friend asked a similar such question. I smoke weed every day, yet it had been quite a while since the last time I reflected on the actual reasons for my continued use. Since the questioner was respectful and seemed genuinely interested in my answer, I wanted to put some thought into it. When that failed, I promised I would compose a ridiculously thorough response in the form of an article for my blog. Enjoy.
Continue reading…

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So, this happened the other day. Obviously, the last poster is me.

Apparently she didn't, considering she de-friended me.

Apparently she didn’t, considering she de-friended me.

“Honey Boo Boo” – Shitty Television or Exploitation?

I came across this article on nbcnews.com the other day.

It contemplates the nature of the TLC program Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Namely, whether it constitutes entertainment or exploitation. I would argue neither. However, being an openminded individual, I am capable of recognizing the possibility that others may interpret this program to be “entertaining.” So I’ll work from there. Here’s a snippet of the article. Continue reading…

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“Gabby’s Crab Problem..”

My father used to say that black people are like “Crabs in a barrel” and he also warned me to never “be the first black to do anything” because blacks are among some of the most jealous of people. Throughout my short-lived life I have found some truth to those statements and I have found some not-so-truths to them, too. Continue reading…

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The Great Race

I love election year’s! To me, its like the ultimate reality television show that never gets old. The thing I love most about election year is the Vice President selection. In 2008 Obama and McCain chose safe candidates to be their running mates. Democrats hated Biden because he talked too honestly, too much. Plus they thought that Obama/Clinton sounded and looked a lot better. Republicans on the other hand, knew absolutely nothing about Sarah Palin but that quickly changed and ruined the election for John McCain and the GOP. Continue reading…

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The Three People You meet on Facebook

You ever log into Facebook and notice a Friend Request that you know you’ve accepted before? According to Facebook 4.8 percent of all active accounts are duplicate, non-human, or spam. This comes as no real news to me. In my list of friends now numbering in the thousands, I have always noticed spam friends, duplicate accounts, and friend(ing) friends pets and/or businesses.

The Spam friends should be the easiest to spot. They will find you on Facebook and claim to have went to High School or College with you, sometimes leaving you obnoxious, creepy messages about how they wish they got to know you. If you make the mistake of adding them to your online community, you will soon forget they even exist. From my experience, they don’t post often, but when they do it is usually about something intimate. Usually how they “wish someone would talk to them” it makes me miss Myspace. Also spam (the usually spammer being some sexual entity) Will always have a rather generic photo of themselves, especially if its a female.

The duplicate friend is usually very unhappy with his/her life or may have a hacker problem. Most times its unhappiness. The weirdest part about the duplicate friend is noticing that they have more than one active account. Some may not hide this fact, and post statuses and stuff from multiple accounts, but sometimes they are unaware of their multiple accounts. Unlike the Spammer, they won’t message you upon requesting addition friendship. Sometimes they’ll say “I had to make a new account because my mother added me on my last one” and I suppose I can understand that.

The Non-Human, Business, Pet friend is kind, hard working and gentle. Usually they are small business owners, local artist, and animal enthusiast. However, these people do not know how to create pages for their beloved pets and business ventures. So, instead they make accounts like humans and insist on friending people whom they know. These accounts are not really a problem, and actually gives you good insights to who a person really is and wants to be (hopefully, not employed by Facebook).

According to a new study of Facebook, many speculators are saying that these 3 categories  are confusing the numbers on Facebook so bad that the Facebook stock is down. It may be that or people getting tired of Facebook.

One must admit that Facebook is rather dull, and useless you having a baby. It seems the trend among my friends is marriage and babies, and I suppose that is normal…

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Don’t Eat the Chicken


The only time I have an urge to eat at Chick-Fil-a is on Sunday… (Un)fortunately, they are always closed on Sunday. It comes with the territory that is the owners philosophy: “Sunday is the day God rested, its the Sabbath and all people’s should have that day off to worship and fellowship in his name”(paraphrased).  This philosophy is Christian because the owner is a devoted christian who feels that God is real and Christianity is HIS truth. Continue reading…

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Senility

I had one of those moments today where I though of something really good to write about.

And then life threw a minor distraction my way, diverging my train of thought for a matter of mere seconds. Next think I knew, I was thrust into that frustrating mental limbo where I could remember having had the idea, whilst possessing absolutely no immediate knowledge of what it actually was.

Defeated, I ventured to the porch for a cigarette. Whereupon I checked my phone for the time, inadvertently revealing a gift past James was thoughtful enough to leave for future James – an unsent text message articulating my super good idea. It read:

Senility as defense mechanism against fear of death

Though it worked to refresh my memory, it also made me realize it wasn’t really that good an idea in the first place.

To elaborate, it was a fleeting idea that crossed my mind. The simple hypothesis was that senility is just another human function, the purpose of which is to maintain happiness and contentment in the face of imminent death. Think about it, have you ever heard an old person say they fear death? I mean like, a really old person.

I hope the answer to that hypothetical question is no, because otherwise that must’ve been a pretty fucking awkward situation with granny. But I digress. My point is, having lived a fulfilled life can’t be the only thing that caused old dying people to not fear death. And that’s why old people become senile, so they can at least live out their final days doing something – anything – other than dwelling on their imminent death.

That was before I realized that science would suggest, as it indeed does, that senility is a symptom, and could in no way be a result of evolution – considering that reaching senility pretty much means you’ve already survived successfully, and ain’t gonna have much chance to spread your seed anymore.

That was before I recognized the irony of the previous thirty minutes of my life – that is, my senile efforts to remember this thought – which, in and of itself, is something worth writing about.

And thus is the twisted nature of my creative process.

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Reasons Mormons are Weird: Volume One

Surfing through the sewer that is American internet news publications, I came across the following story, which is an elaboration upon an issue msnbc.com has covered at least once prior:

Mormon Church Tries to Limit Baptism of Deceased Jews

Now, you may be wondering, “What the fuck?”

If that’s the case, clearly someone isn’t reading enough news.

Incase you’re unaware: Yes, the Mormon church engages in forced, post-mortem baptisms. Which means they “baptize” dead people who were never baptized whilst living. Like, regardless of anything the person ever said or stood for, or what the deceased’s kin say.

Oh, and they do it to dead Jews. And not just any dead Jews. Dead holocaust victims.

Because if you’re gonna do some weird freaky Mormon shit, why not just say, “fuck it,” and make it as distasteful and inconsiderate of everyone else as possible. That’s how Mormons roll, I guess.

This spurred me to start a theme of posts dissecting the issue of Mormons’ weirdness.

So, to be clear, reason number one Mormons are weird is that they perform post-mortem baptisms on Jews who died during the holocaust.

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My Drunk Uncle, Herman Cain…


I hope this doesn’t sound racist…

Herman Cain sounds like my drunk uncle.

Not the cool drunk uncle who tells us funny sex stories and randomly passes out in his own piss. Herman sounds like the stupid drunk uncle, who everyone wishes would get alcohol poison and shut the fuck up.

Every election year, I am marveled at the success of some dumb-ass, “pro-American”, idiot-savant, who emerges in the media lime-light just so the world can watch him make an ass out of himself for a few weeks.

This year it has been the adventures of Herman that have given me giggles, laughs, and tears.

The story of Herman Cain is similar to that of our current president (minus the articulation, general appeal, common sense, and skin complexion, of course). He emerged “out of no where” in the political world, after losing a senate race a few years back, and captured the White-American Tea Party’s heart.

They found him adorable, electable, but most of all smart and humbling. He was the “Black-Conservative Success story”.

Fortunately, the rest of the GOP felt differently and he recently stopped campaigning. This maybe Cain’s final hurrah and he went out in extremely poor fashion (just like the uncool drunk uncle).

So, I hope for the sake of black America and the rest of the country too, that this guy stays deep down in the tea party ranks, and never runs for president ever again.

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