Holy Gonads: A Year of Blogging

Whilst browsing this blog today in order to ensure nothing is askew, I noticed a little detail. Both the first and last month listed under my “Archive” section are March. Which would support the thesis that EWWTY is officially one year old.

When I first started EWWTY, I had hoped to challenge myself by writing for it every day. While I didn’t end up meeting that challenge, I did manage to write daily for a few months. And I did, at least, manage to write often enough to maintain the blog.

Though I never managed to make WordPress.com’s Freshly Pressed, I’d say it’s been a successful experience. The fact that anyone found my writing thus far to be interesting is good enough for me. My philosophy is that if I keep on keepin’ on, one of my pieces will eventually end up being recognized. Probably when I least expect it.

A big thanks to all the readers and followers I’ve accumulated throughout the course of this year!

Misconduct review imminent for Anti-Obama judge

LA Times reports:

The Judicial Council of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals opened a misconduct review of Montana’s chief federal District Court judge for forwarding a racially charged email about President Obama from his courthouse computer.

Judge Richard F. Cebull asked for the review as calls mounted Thursday for his immediate resignation. Legal ethics experts predicted the incident would result in a public admonishment.

The judge, appointed byPresident George W. Bush12 years ago, maintained after the email became public that it was meant to be seen as anti-Obama and not racist, but added, “I can obviously understand why people would be offended.”

What is all this over, you might be asking. This is all over the following email, which this federal judge obviously couldn’t help but propagate.

Subject: A MOM’S MEMORY

“Normally I don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine.

“A little boy said to his mother; ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?’ His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!’ “

Now, it does seem this guy is at least more apologetic than most conservative Republicans have ever been toward Obama, but I’ll let you decide how sincere they are; especially in the face of this misconduct review:

“I sincerely and profusely apologize to you and your family for the email I forwarded,” Cebull wrote. “I have no one to blame but myself.” Before adding, “Please forgive me.”

I don’t even know what to think of this type of shit anymore.

Ed Darrell posted this interesting graphic from grist.com, along with his own insightful analysis of it, over at Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub. The graphic makes apparent the nonsense; Darrell makes sense of the nonsense.

My Drunk Uncle, Herman Cain…


I hope this doesn’t sound racist…

Herman Cain sounds like my drunk uncle.

Not the cool drunk uncle who tells us funny sex stories and randomly passes out in his own piss. Herman sounds like the stupid drunk uncle, who everyone wishes would get alcohol poison and shut the fuck up.

Every election year, I am marveled at the success of some dumb-ass, “pro-American”, idiot-savant, who emerges in the media lime-light just so the world can watch him make an ass out of himself for a few weeks.

This year it has been the adventures of Herman that have given me giggles, laughs, and tears.

The story of Herman Cain is similar to that of our current president (minus the articulation, general appeal, common sense, and skin complexion, of course). He emerged “out of no where” in the political world, after losing a senate race a few years back, and captured the White-American Tea Party’s heart.

They found him adorable, electable, but most of all smart and humbling. He was the “Black-Conservative Success story”.

Fortunately, the rest of the GOP felt differently and he recently stopped campaigning. This maybe Cain’s final hurrah and he went out in extremely poor fashion (just like the uncool drunk uncle).

So, I hope for the sake of black America and the rest of the country too, that this guy stays deep down in the tea party ranks, and never runs for president ever again.

Don’t Touch My Goddamn Internet

Have you Google searched the word SOPA this past week? Have you noticed the Facebook statuses about how the passing of SOPA will literally destroy all mankind, by taking away creativity and innovation online.

The Stop Online Privacy Act (SOPA) is by far the most opposed bill to be presented in the United States Congress since the Patriot Act (After people read what was in it). This bill intends on stopping online theft and security violations that hinder “prosperity, creativity, entrepreneurship, and innovation” for the already established and rich.

Sounds like its a crazy conspiracy theory?

Now, in theory, it is a good fight. The internet has grown since its origins almost 25 years ago. It has gone from being a tool for business, a tool for the military, a tool for children and games, and now, it is a the most social place on the face of the earth. And with that being said, it does have problems. One of those problems is the fact that corporations, entertainment industries, and government’s are losing revenue because of the free access of the web.

Picture the internet as one big ass party, a looting party. Everyone comes in the door with something that they don’t own, but its not exactly stealing either. It is like free advertisement for the creator and it is a form of admiration on the part of the “thief”.

Some people will go viral and make money, but for others (like me) they will only take more away from the haves in this country, by “stealing” something (mostly photographs) off the web for a website or personal usage.

The question being asked is simple. Should the internet remain the final place for individuals (like me, James, and YOU) to be able to get information, and express ourselves, freely or shall we turn this life changing device into another market-place, where we are separated based on how much we can purchase.

I ran across an interesting blog displaying the names of corporations that support SOPA. Take a look, you’ll be shocked by who you see on this list (I wasn’t). Almost 360 corporations that don’t want YOU to be able to surf the web, unless you are buying their merchandise. They range from corporations like Zumba to television network’s such as News Corp and NBC-Universal.

Adding Up Slavery


When I was a child I learned about slavery and some teachers were extremely creative in their method of teaching the sensitive subject matter. However, this story takes creativity to a whole entirely different level. In Atlanta, (Gwinnett County) there is a huge uproar (not really) about a group of teachers using slavery to teach their students math.

Now, when I first read the story I was outraged! This had to be some racist BULLSHIT and I was gonna get the details on why these teachers thought it was alright to teach third graders about slavery via mathematics applications.

I calmed myself down, because I work with all white people, and I didn’t want to go to jail, and I read it again. This time I imagined I was a white man reading the same story.

It  still sounded fucked up! But not because of the obvious racism (especially if the teachers were white) but rather because I remember learning about slavery in grade school and the one thing I remember about learning about it as a black kid, was it was hard to look at yourself and others, black and white, the same after learning it.

You begin to wonder, “What the fuck did I do wrong, in order for white people to hate me so much and do such a horrible thing.” It turns into self-hatred if not treated properly and that turns in to a black child becoming a Conservative man, like Clarence Thomas or O.J. Simpson (the Juice).

I’m not upset that teachers talked about slavery or even that they incorporated it into a math assignment. I am upset because those children are the one’s who will suffer at the hands of ill-prepared teachers.

From what I read about the story, none of the teachers looked over the assignment before passing it out, some teachers who did, opted out of teaching the material all together. And the biggest problem is, this comes on the heels of MLK Day of Service in a metro area which is MAJORITY Afro-American and minority culture(s).

The teachers haven’t been punished at all and the local NAACP in Atlanta wants them to be held accountable, even though officials feel that they did nothing wrong.

They did! But its not what the parents are fussing about. The parents didn’t want their third graders to hear about this in school, and that is wrong. Schools are built to teach the good, the bad and the hideous. However, they should do so in a manner that respects ALL individual and cultural identities, especially with a school so diverse as this one.

Adding up how many beatings Frederick Douglas got in a week is a bit laughable to hear, but only because you’d never imagine such a question in a third grade math class. I wish they’d put questions like this on the math portion of the SAT. Shit!

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Hopefully the lazy ass teachers get some sort of discipline.

What’d He Say Wrong?

I didn’t even read this “attack-ad” Huffington Post article that came with the video, but I could only imagine it saying something to the degree of “Santorum bashes gays, by comparing being gay to Mormonism.” I don’t know who Santorum offended most with this latest revelation of his.

I’m gonna be honest here and it may sound wrong to those who know my political leanings. Santorum makes sense.

Now, wait a fucking minute and let me tell you why. So, what Santorum is responding to is the stupid lady’s question about “happiness and liberty” for all, regardless of sexual preference. What Santorum says is, “okay, so is it okay if that preference is multiple spouses?” Instead of saying, “Yes, if they wish it to be that way” the crowd awes and starts taking sides. The lady says, “That’s irrelevant”, but wait, its not.

The Way of the Future

Why is it relevant? Because their is another very opposed type of marriage. That marriage is called polygamy. And if EVERYONE deserves these same rights and legal liberties (which they do), then why get offended when he mentions another “unpopular” form of [il]legal marriage and relationship rights.

Now, I believe that EVERYONE should be able to suffer the consequences of marriage and marry and love who ever they want, and it all should be legally recognized by our nation(s).

Americans fear that one day marriage will be ruined (as if it hasn’t been already) by the gays, the Mormons, and other infidels who “hate Christian America”.

Divorce rates? Fuck 'em.

In a political sense they are the best of allies on this issue (gays and mormons). They should team together to spread justice and equality throughout the married world. Mormons marry in Utah and gays have New York (and I think Massachusetts) but both groups want national recognition in the realm of marriage (I don’t know if the Mormons are so pressed about it as the gay community is).

Marriage is a joke in the 21st century and we have a whole host of people (mostly straight celebrities) to thank for that, but it shouldn’t be exclusive to any few groups who deem themselves ‘normal superiors’. In today’s world, I’m surprised that we don’t have a more modern view of love and marriage.

Some religious institutions have already started the progressive step toward marrying same-sex-couples, but our national discourse isn’t so clear.

One has to admit that polygamy and gay marriage are in the same boat, and that’s not to belittle either cause or faith. Threy are fighting the same “anglo-devil” and I wished they’d recongize that instead of trying to compare and contrast the two to show differences. Shame on the Huff (my favorite online news-blog) for making a big deal over a otherwise boring College Convention.

When God Speaks…

As if God doesn’t have enough bullshit to worry about, one more of his “followers” claims that he sees the future of America, and the catastrophic doings of a negro president which will lead to a “great divide and internal collapse of this great nation”.

Pat Robertson is a prophet of the Christian faith and God often tells Pat secrets that Pat then prays on for “days and days” while running a daily television broadcast. Remember after 9/11 Pat said that the event was caused by our acceptance of sin (ironically that’s the same reason Osama felt the need to plan the attacks in the first place). Then after the Haiti earthquake Pat claimed that “Haiti made a pact with the devil” (and he was there) after Satan promised to free them from colonial France. In Pat’s finest hour, he discovered the reason why Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans was because of the citizens of New Orleans and their “voodoo culture” (and not because of the city’s coastal location).

He offends many, is considered a racist (I would agree), and has a horrible interpretation of history. He has all the traits of being a simple angry old white man, cloaked in a physically feeble and seemingly ignorant man’s frame.

That is why I can’t help but to think that he doesn’t really believe what he is saying, but rather doesn’t know any better.

Makes me teary-eyed just thinking about the fact that he may not even realize that the date on the calendar is 2012 and not 1958 any more. The “moral majority” is not under attack from the “progressive minority”.

However, this most recent event that Pat got the inside scoop on is one that I can kind of agree with.

Pat claims that because of a horrible president like Obama, our nation is being divided greater than ever before (obviously forgetting about the Civil War, aka Pat’s younger years). Pat goes on to say that he talked to God and God basically told Pat that America is a lost cause because of the tyrannical minority and their immoral behavior. He also said that God said some other shit about how America is the last hope for other nations who want freedom (tell that to the nation of Yemen)

Pat IS right to a degree:

The country is being torn apart right now, and millions upon millions of Americans are fed up. Not only with Obama and not only with the ‘Democratic-Communism-Socialism-Facism‘ of a progressive “minority-left”.

People are fed up because Capitalism is being monopolized by the wealthy, our democracy is being bought by the corporations and plutocrats, and our way of life, even for the middle class, is diminishing at a rapid pace. People are also pissed that people like Pat Robertson represent and stain the name of being a faithful servant and follower of Christ.

Robertson and the religious-political-right are what is wrong with America.

People such as Pat damage God’s credibility when they speak foolishness and people support it. God didn’t want Haitians to be slaves and God doesn’t give a FUCK about America’s precious economy.

God told his follows to not care about worldly obsessions and false idols (aka currencies, monies and property, etc) and to focus of “true salvation” which is only up to God at the end of the day to decide, not his “prophet” Pat Robertson.

Hands down, Pat is upset because he knows that Obama will be a two term president. Either that or he’s literally gone bananas (He pulls out the notes he took while God was talking, my god!).

Personified by the Writings of an Over-Functioning Pothead

%d bloggers like this: