Ed Darrell posted this interesting graphic from grist.com, along with his own insightful analysis of it, over at Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub. The graphic makes apparent the nonsense; Darrell makes sense of the nonsense.

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My Drunk Uncle, Herman Cain…


I hope this doesn’t sound racist…

Herman Cain sounds like my drunk uncle.

Not the cool drunk uncle who tells us funny sex stories and randomly passes out in his own piss. Herman sounds like the stupid drunk uncle, who everyone wishes would get alcohol poison and shut the fuck up.

Every election year, I am marveled at the success of some dumb-ass, “pro-American”, idiot-savant, who emerges in the media lime-light just so the world can watch him make an ass out of himself for a few weeks.

This year it has been the adventures of Herman that have given me giggles, laughs, and tears.

The story of Herman Cain is similar to that of our current president (minus the articulation, general appeal, common sense, and skin complexion, of course). He emerged “out of no where” in the political world, after losing a senate race a few years back, and captured the White-American Tea Party’s heart.

They found him adorable, electable, but most of all smart and humbling. He was the “Black-Conservative Success story”.

Fortunately, the rest of the GOP felt differently and he recently stopped campaigning. This maybe Cain’s final hurrah and he went out in extremely poor fashion (just like the uncool drunk uncle).

So, I hope for the sake of black America and the rest of the country too, that this guy stays deep down in the tea party ranks, and never runs for president ever again.

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Don’t Touch My Goddamn Internet

Have you Google searched the word SOPA this past week? Have you noticed the Facebook statuses about how the passing of SOPA will literally destroy all mankind, by taking away creativity and innovation online.

The Stop Online Privacy Act (SOPA) is by far the most opposed bill to be presented in the United States Congress since the Patriot Act (After people read what was in it). This bill intends on stopping online theft and security violations that hinder “prosperity, creativity, entrepreneurship, and innovation” for the already established and rich.

Sounds like its a crazy conspiracy theory?

Now, in theory, it is a good fight. The internet has grown since its origins almost 25 years ago. It has gone from being a tool for business, a tool for the military, a tool for children and games, and now, it is a the most social place on the face of the earth. And with that being said, it does have problems. One of those problems is the fact that corporations, entertainment industries, and government’s are losing revenue because of the free access of the web.

Picture the internet as one big ass party, a looting party. Everyone comes in the door with something that they don’t own, but its not exactly stealing either. It is like free advertisement for the creator and it is a form of admiration on the part of the “thief”.

Some people will go viral and make money, but for others (like me) they will only take more away from the haves in this country, by “stealing” something (mostly photographs) off the web for a website or personal usage.

The question being asked is simple. Should the internet remain the final place for individuals (like me, James, and YOU) to be able to get information, and express ourselves, freely or shall we turn this life changing device into another market-place, where we are separated based on how much we can purchase.

I ran across an interesting blog displaying the names of corporations that support SOPA. Take a look, you’ll be shocked by who you see on this list (I wasn’t). Almost 360 corporations that don’t want YOU to be able to surf the web, unless you are buying their merchandise. They range from corporations like Zumba to television network’s such as News Corp and NBC-Universal.

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Adding Up Slavery


When I was a child I learned about slavery and some teachers were extremely creative in their method of teaching the sensitive subject matter. However, this story takes creativity to a whole entirely different level. In Atlanta, (Gwinnett County) there is a huge uproar (not really) about a group of teachers using slavery to teach their students math.

Now, when I first read the story I was outraged! This had to be some racist BULLSHIT and I was gonna get the details on why these teachers thought it was alright to teach third graders about slavery via mathematics applications.

I calmed myself down, because I work with all white people, and I didn’t want to go to jail, and I read it again. This time I imagined I was a white man reading the same story.

It  still sounded fucked up! But not because of the obvious racism (especially if the teachers were white) but rather because I remember learning about slavery in grade school and the one thing I remember about learning about it as a black kid, was it was hard to look at yourself and others, black and white, the same after learning it.

You begin to wonder, “What the fuck did I do wrong, in order for white people to hate me so much and do such a horrible thing.” It turns into self-hatred if not treated properly and that turns in to a black child becoming a Conservative man, like Clarence Thomas or O.J. Simpson (the Juice).

I’m not upset that teachers talked about slavery or even that they incorporated it into a math assignment. I am upset because those children are the one’s who will suffer at the hands of ill-prepared teachers.

From what I read about the story, none of the teachers looked over the assignment before passing it out, some teachers who did, opted out of teaching the material all together. And the biggest problem is, this comes on the heels of MLK Day of Service in a metro area which is MAJORITY Afro-American and minority culture(s).

The teachers haven’t been punished at all and the local NAACP in Atlanta wants them to be held accountable, even though officials feel that they did nothing wrong.

They did! But its not what the parents are fussing about. The parents didn’t want their third graders to hear about this in school, and that is wrong. Schools are built to teach the good, the bad and the hideous. However, they should do so in a manner that respects ALL individual and cultural identities, especially with a school so diverse as this one.

Adding up how many beatings Frederick Douglas got in a week is a bit laughable to hear, but only because you’d never imagine such a question in a third grade math class. I wish they’d put questions like this on the math portion of the SAT. Shit!

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Hopefully the lazy ass teachers get some sort of discipline.

What’d He Say Wrong?

I didn’t even read this “attack-ad” Huffington Post article that came with the video, but I could only imagine it saying something to the degree of “Santorum bashes gays, by comparing being gay to Mormonism.” I don’t know who Santorum offended most with this latest revelation of his.

I’m gonna be honest here and it may sound wrong to those who know my political leanings. Santorum makes sense.

Now, wait a fucking minute and let me tell you why. So, what Santorum is responding to is the stupid lady’s question about “happiness and liberty” for all, regardless of sexual preference. What Santorum says is, “okay, so is it okay if that preference is multiple spouses?” Instead of saying, “Yes, if they wish it to be that way” the crowd awes and starts taking sides. The lady says, “That’s irrelevant”, but wait, its not.

The Way of the Future

Why is it relevant? Because their is another very opposed type of marriage. That marriage is called polygamy. And if EVERYONE deserves these same rights and legal liberties (which they do), then why get offended when he mentions another “unpopular” form of [il]legal marriage and relationship rights.

Now, I believe that EVERYONE should be able to suffer the consequences of marriage and marry and love who ever they want, and it all should be legally recognized by our nation(s).

Americans fear that one day marriage will be ruined (as if it hasn’t been already) by the gays, the Mormons, and other infidels who “hate Christian America”.

Divorce rates? Fuck 'em.

In a political sense they are the best of allies on this issue (gays and mormons). They should team together to spread justice and equality throughout the married world. Mormons marry in Utah and gays have New York (and I think Massachusetts) but both groups want national recognition in the realm of marriage (I don’t know if the Mormons are so pressed about it as the gay community is).

Marriage is a joke in the 21st century and we have a whole host of people (mostly straight celebrities) to thank for that, but it shouldn’t be exclusive to any few groups who deem themselves ‘normal superiors’. In today’s world, I’m surprised that we don’t have a more modern view of love and marriage.

Some religious institutions have already started the progressive step toward marrying same-sex-couples, but our national discourse isn’t so clear.

One has to admit that polygamy and gay marriage are in the same boat, and that’s not to belittle either cause or faith. Threy are fighting the same “anglo-devil” and I wished they’d recongize that instead of trying to compare and contrast the two to show differences. Shame on the Huff (my favorite online news-blog) for making a big deal over a otherwise boring College Convention.

When God Speaks…

As if God doesn’t have enough bullshit to worry about, one more of his “followers” claims that he sees the future of America, and the catastrophic doings of a negro president which will lead to a “great divide and internal collapse of this great nation”.

Pat Robertson is a prophet of the Christian faith and God often tells Pat secrets that Pat then prays on for “days and days” while running a daily television broadcast. Remember after 9/11 Pat said that the event was caused by our acceptance of sin (ironically that’s the same reason Osama felt the need to plan the attacks in the first place). Then after the Haiti earthquake Pat claimed that “Haiti made a pact with the devil” (and he was there) after Satan promised to free them from colonial France. In Pat’s finest hour, he discovered the reason why Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans was because of the citizens of New Orleans and their “voodoo culture” (and not because of the city’s coastal location).

He offends many, is considered a racist (I would agree), and has a horrible interpretation of history. He has all the traits of being a simple angry old white man, cloaked in a physically feeble and seemingly ignorant man’s frame.

That is why I can’t help but to think that he doesn’t really believe what he is saying, but rather doesn’t know any better.

Makes me teary-eyed just thinking about the fact that he may not even realize that the date on the calendar is 2012 and not 1958 any more. The “moral majority” is not under attack from the “progressive minority”.

However, this most recent event that Pat got the inside scoop on is one that I can kind of agree with.

Pat claims that because of a horrible president like Obama, our nation is being divided greater than ever before (obviously forgetting about the Civil War, aka Pat’s younger years). Pat goes on to say that he talked to God and God basically told Pat that America is a lost cause because of the tyrannical minority and their immoral behavior. He also said that God said some other shit about how America is the last hope for other nations who want freedom (tell that to the nation of Yemen)

Pat IS right to a degree:

The country is being torn apart right now, and millions upon millions of Americans are fed up. Not only with Obama and not only with the ‘Democratic-Communism-Socialism-Facism‘ of a progressive “minority-left”.

People are fed up because Capitalism is being monopolized by the wealthy, our democracy is being bought by the corporations and plutocrats, and our way of life, even for the middle class, is diminishing at a rapid pace. People are also pissed that people like Pat Robertson represent and stain the name of being a faithful servant and follower of Christ.

Robertson and the religious-political-right are what is wrong with America.

People such as Pat damage God’s credibility when they speak foolishness and people support it. God didn’t want Haitians to be slaves and God doesn’t give a FUCK about America’s precious economy.

God told his follows to not care about worldly obsessions and false idols (aka currencies, monies and property, etc) and to focus of “true salvation” which is only up to God at the end of the day to decide, not his “prophet” Pat Robertson.

Hands down, Pat is upset because he knows that Obama will be a two term president. Either that or he’s literally gone bananas (He pulls out the notes he took while God was talking, my god!).

Matt Romney: Like Father, Like Son

This is why children shouldn’t campaign for parents running for public office. They lack stage presence (and sometimes the facts, too). And this kid tries to deliver an “Obama zinger” and his audience doesn’t really catch the punchline.

He could have done some serious damage if he’d slipped up and told the truth about where he’d really heard that “joke”. Everyone knows that is a Mitt Romney classic. I can see them all sitting around the table talking politics when Mitt decides to say, “I’ll release my tax information, when Obama releases his grades and his birth-certificate–hahaha.”

The only birth-certificate I have saved on my computer and its our President's. Somethings not right about that...

As if the joke itself wasn’t bad enough, it adds full to the fire for people out there who support the GOP and really believe that our President, who already had to deal with the embarrassment of displaying his birth-certificate to the world, isn’t a real American citizen. He is the first president to have to do such a thing (I wonder why). But does that help the man with relieving this issue, no. He still has to deal with the “crazies” at the base of the GOP. These people wouldn’t believe that Obama is American even if and after President Obama walked to their doorstep and smack the shit out of them with a laminated copy of the birth-certificate.

He has a father in politics, so there is no excuse to him not knowing about Obama’s birth certificate. This kid has the same problem his pops has, they are both socially awkward outside of the Country Club settings.

Also, notice that his audience is a little thin, too. The young kids have to start somewhere I suppose. You have to admit that the guy has his fathers wit.

An Episode of the Boondock’s? Nope. Real Black People…

Possibly the most ignorant thing I have seen in a while. Black’s going ‘hog-shit-ass crazy’ over a motherfucking shoe. Excuse my English, but it is one of the worst stories I have ever heard and really is a testament of where my brothers and sisters heads are now that they have a black man in the oval office.[joke]

Seriously though, this video is proof that the ignorance is far from gone within the black culture.

Now, as everyone already knows (if you have any hip-hop/sports friends) Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time. He is a mogul and a sort of evil genius for being the first NBA, NFL, or any other sports player to market himself and his brand so well. He has been retired from the game for at least 10 years and still, his merchandise (mostly shoes) bring him a gross income that easily puts him in the top 2%. Even after everyone gets their slice (including the poor ass 3rd world countries who make the damn things). So, it goes without having to mention that he is a very popular brand.

I don’t consider this man human, he is a legacy and a brand, nothing less, but sadly nothing more. I know nothing about him except for that gambling problem he was accused of having (we all got our poison).

Anyway, the problem isn’t with Michael Jordan. As a huge fan of the game and of the player, I understand the history of this “legendary purchase”.

However, I never owned a pair of Jordan’s and while all my friends wore them and chastised me for not being able to afford them (and later in life not giving-a-fuck-enough about a pair of shoes that cost more than an entire outfit) I never understood the importance of the shoe (or of any shoe for that matter).

Nowadays, most kids who wear the shoes aren’t even athletic. They wear them simply to say they have a pair (or 5 pair).

This is why I claim to hate capitalism so much, because it does something ugly to blacks and lower class, urban culture. It makes material, god-like. These people grow up not knowing what to think about for themselves because constantly others (including the media) have told them what to think, how to feel, and what to like and not like. It is so ugly to watch this as a black man. Ugh!

The lady at the end says that it was worth the wait, the fight, and the price to get her children the “things they need”.

THEY DON’T NEED NO FUCKING JORDAN’S!

I really hope she has that great attitude with her children’s school.

I can’t help but to ask if that were a book, or something useful to our children would there have been news coverage of it? Would people be in line and step on each other to get it. I’m afraid the answer is “NO, only for a pair of sneakers!”

“If black’s were to go this crazy about voting, Jesse Jackson would have been the first black president in ’88.”-anonymous Youtuber

Personified by the Writings of an Over-Functioning Pothead

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