While I love writing, especially for this blog, I am but a single man, fallible to the distractions of life.
If you, like me, consider everything in life that doesn’t involve writing a distraction, I’d love to have you write for Everything Wrong with Today’s Youth.
I mean, you could choose to be all “unique” and “original” by starting your own blog, but starting a blog from scratch sucks. You’d be likely to fall into a series of self-loathing ruts in the process. Trust me, and to borrow from the words of Old Saint Farley: I know from experience, dude.
The alternative, of course, is writing for ewwty, where your uniqueness and originality may flourish sans the crushing blow to your ego each time you check your stats.
The cool part is, I’m an easygoing dude. Whether you contribute once a week, once a month, or even less frequently, it doesn’t matter to me. Writing is not something to be forced – especially not the kind of writing I want on this blog.
If you’re interested in this opportunity, fill out the form below… like way below. You can’t see it yet, because I’m about to make you read a bunch of other shit before you get there.
Once you complete your venture through the following words which you should totally stop skimming over, include a sample or two of your writing abilities in the form I somehow figured out how to put there. You can either simply copy and paste one or more of your samples, or provide links to some of your past work if it’s already published elsewhere.
If you don’t have any samples on hand, go ahead and write something – anything – and maybe it’ll end up being your first post! If you’re not in the mood at the moment, no worries! Just include an idea or two of something about which you’d like to write. Also, be your own advocate. Tell me why you want to write for ewwty, and why you’re right for the job! Especially if you don’t have any actual samples, I’m going to judge your writing abilities on how you sell yourself; if you can do that in written form, it’s clear you’re a talented writer.
Obviously, we’re no BuzzFeed, so I can’t pay you – at least not with money. However we do have over 20,000 Facebook followers, hundreds of email subscribers, and we’re growing every day. So while I would love to compensate you monetarily for your wonderful writing, for the time being you’ll have to settle for the experience you’ll develop, the exposure you’ll receive and the following you’ll gain as compensation.
Also, I’ll work as directly with you on every aspect of the process if you so desire. I’m no English teacher, but I know some shit about writing, and can at least point you in the right direction in terms of improving as a writer. So that’s maybe worth something too.
Having said that, I’m sure you’ve noticed we run some ads on ewwty. Once the articles you’ve published on ewwty collectively produce $50 or more per month, you will be entitled to a 25% commission on that revenue every month.
So say you write a single article that’s amazing and ranks well in Google searches and it produces $400 in a month, you get $100 that month. If it produces $500 the next month, you’ll get an another $125 at the end of that month as well. And so on and so on.
Once again, I wish we could offer a larger chunk of this revenue, but that other 75% is needed to aid in ewwty’s continued growth. Getting the word out there is expensive, and all that revenue goes toward marketing ewwty, not in my pocket. Actually, the majority of what has been invested in ewwty so far has come out of my pocket. But I digress.
Typically, I’ll respond within a week or so. It’s just me, li’l ol’ James, going through all these submissions. And I’m a college student, so don’t get butthurt if it takes me longer than a week (or two or three if it’s around Finals).