How to get away with smoking weed at home
Whether you’re a high school student, a college student on vacation, or just live with your parents, it can be a bitch to get away with doing what you please.
If you’re one of the lucky pieces of shit with parents who are cool with you smoking weed at home, you musn’t read on. However, if you’re like most people who need to get high inconspicuously when staying with their parents, there are ways.
I should note, the advice in this article can apply to any situation where you want to smoke weed in close proximity to someone you want to hide it from. I reckon a lot of married weed smokers with disapproving spouses will find this article useful.
I will start by identifying the only room in which you may smoke weed and always get away with it: The bathroom.
The bathroom is the obvious weed smoking location. It’s the only room in which you can lock yourself for an extended period of time without seeming sketchy.
And that’s really the key.
If the door is locked, your parents aren’t getting in. At least not quickly. But for real, if your parents have a tendency to barge into the bathroom while you’re inside, you probably have bigger problems to deal with.
Assuming that isn’t the case, its inherent privacy is what makes the bathroom the ideal room of the house to smoke weed. You can just turn on the shower and your parents aren’t going to bother you. Even if you take a super long time, they’ll just assume you’re masturbating; which in-and-of itself is reason enough for them not to go aknockin’.
Additionally, if you run the hot shower until it gets misty in the bathroom, the steam helps to neutralize any stray amounts of weed smoke that escape into the air while you’re taking a hit.
I feel compelled to note, however, do not rely on steam from your shower to cover the smell of weed smoke. It’s is helpful, but keep in mind that moisture absorbs odors, it doesn’t eliminate them. Shower steam is particularly helpful in these two scenarios:
- Smoking weed directly before taking an actual shower.
- In this situation the steam will absorb the fragrances from your shampoo/body wash along with any weed smoke odors, which will completely engulf any small amounts of smoke. Key word: small – I’m in no way sanctioning you to start smoking entire blunts during your morning bathroom routine. Not until you get your own place, at least.
- Opening bathroom window after smoking.
- Steam is somewhat helpful in this situation because the temperature difference between a hot, steamy bathroom and the outdoors causes the steam to pour through the window at a fast rate, which creates airflow out the window, taking small (again, key word) amounts of smoke odor with it. Because science!
Anywho, I cannot stress enough that shower steam can be helpful, but it isn’t going to cover the smell of weed by itself. If you ask me, the main benefit of running the shower is the noisy diversion it offers; the resulting steam is just a little perk from the science gods.