A fake ID

How To Get Away With Stuff #4: Pulling Off the Fake ID

Everyone’s been there.

The party is dying, and FAST. The bottle of Grey Goose you stole from your parent’s freezer is finished, the 6 pack your buddy talked his older brother into giving you is depleted, and the people are getting antsy. The girls are about to leave, because this once smooth-sailing get together is on its way to a spectacular crash.

You and your friends are starting to get nervous. After all, you’re the ones who are supposed to be throwing this bash, and if somebody utters that dreaded “Let’s bounce bro, this party is lame” phrase, you’re fucked.

It seems all hope is lost, when suddenly: BAM!

Mr. Hotshot kicks in the door like the Kool Aid Man, and he’s here to save the fucking day. A couple of 30-racks, bottles of UV, Malibu, and Burnett’s, and enough Solo cups to keep the party rolling.

He is the quintessential partygoer, the man who risks everything. The girls want him. The guys want to be him. He’s a superhero. A selfless bro who is willing to put the hopes and dreams and Friday nights of his classmates on his back. He says: “Whad’ya need fellas? I can handle anything you throw at me!”

He makes a decent profit, but he’s not in it for the money. He’s the man of the hour, the fearless bastard who will fight for your right to party.

He’s the guy with the fake ID.

Is he a superhuman stud that pulls bitches left and right? Quite possibly, but not always so. He is, however, an integral part of high school and college social circles everywhere. He’s more than just a cool dude who’s willing to hook people up; he is, quite literally, a necessity. And odds are, he’s making pretty a decent amount of bank between ripping off freshmen and the tips he hauls in.

And now you can become him. This article is all about how you can go about getting your very own fake ID.

It seems like getting a fake ID would be pretty simple, but it’s not my friends. Do not make the mistake of assuming it is easy, because if you don’t cover your ass at all times, you will get caught. I’ve seen it happen too many times.

Pulling off the fake ID is much more difficult than it appears, partially because of the (relatively) high risk that goes hand in hand with laws regarding false identification. That being said, I think it would be wise to break the process down nice and easy into several steps.

(Disclaimer: I am not, by any means, an expert on this topic and the laws surrounding it. I’m not a cop, I’m not a liquor store employee, and I’m not a bouncer. I’m just some shithead on the Internet who’s gotten away with doing this a time or two, and understand the struggle.)

(Disclaimer 2: DO NOT drive drunk. Doing so makes you a selfish asshole who is putting his own stupid reasons ahead of the safety of others. I don’t care if your parents will catch you, I don’t care if you don’t want to come pick up your car tomorrow morning. These days with smartphone apps like Uber and Lyft operating in most cities cheaper than taxis, there’s no excuse to drive drunk.)

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