11:07pm (on a Monday):
For some reason I decided to ingest a drug my friend referred to as Sassafras, which is just slang for MDA. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done MDA.
I do, however, know that I’m going to be up all night on this shit.
Ever since writing “The DMT Experience“, which I wrote in the month following the experience, I wanted to write about another hallucinogenic drug while tripping on it. Not an original idea, of course; I’m certainly not the first person to try.
But I like to trip balls, and I like to write, so I’m going to do both, because America.
It’s quite likely this post will end with incomprehensible blabber. Fair warning.
Update (10/23/2015): Click here if you’re curious about how MDA is different from MDMA.
Not feeling anything yet, which is to be expected. The effects should become noticeable around midnight.
Okay… I’m definitely starting to feel a little funny.
In fact, in between the time I first noticed the initial effects just a moment ago, and now, I’m definitely starting to feel the effects slowly creeping in. But only… not so slowly, actually. Something tells me I’m about to trip very soon. And I think pretty hard.
The effects seem to be coming on somewhat rapidly. Surprisingly rapidly, considering I swallowed it. Usually drugs don’t hit this fast when taken orally. That’s the word I was looking for. “Orally.” It’s getting harder to think fluidly. My thoughts are becoming less lucid. It’s getting harder to write this. I need to come back. It’s 11:45pm right now.
I’m seriously starting to doubt that I’m going to be able to actually write this. It’s not even midnight yet and it’s hard to focus on this computer screen. No further loss of lucidity, however. In fact I think I’m a little more lucid now than a minute ago.
The physcal effects are interesting. I wouldn’t call the physical effects positive or negative. No real visual elements yet.
Actually, I would call the physical effects both positive and negative. I’m starting to feel hot. Like… really fucking hot. My heart is pounding. Drops of sweat are pouring out of my armpits, tickling both sides of my torso as they trickle down to my boxers. (Oh yeah, while writing the paragraph above this one, I took my shirt and pants off.)
Feeling slightly nacious maybe. Totally forgot how to spell the word “nacious.”
Okay wow. That was unexpected.
As I was writing that an overwhelming sensation of nausea overcame me, and I vomited.
Side note, I’m still having trouble with certain words. Even right there, I had to let the spell check correct my spelling of “nausea.” I know how to spell that fucking word. I’m reassuring myself that I’m okay because I haven’t misspelled any other words.
This is how shortsighted I am sometimes, I suppose. I didn’t even think to consider how this drug would affect my ability to write. Seems to be having an interesting effect. I’m going to roll with it. I’m probably going to be doing a lot of bouncing around between thoughts.
I’m stricken, all of a sudden, with a supreme appreciation for you, the reader. People like to act like this is the worst era of history. Like things are on an inevitable downward spiral. I don’t share this negative, cynical view. The very fact that I am able to, without hardly any physical effort, freely express my thoughts and have them, even if just in a small way, affect others, is so beautiful to me.
I love this time. We are all so inconceivably lucky to be alive in 2014. Those of us in first world countries, at least. It’s so good our brains don’t know what to make of it. Depression, anxiety, and apathy are our worse enemies. Very real things, of course, but much better than hunger, fear, and sorrow.
I am sweating so fucking profusely.
It’s definitely a “wavy” trip, in that there are periods of 1-2 minutes where I feel as though I absolutely want this fucking drug out of my body, and periods of time like now, where I actually feel quite fine… other than the fact that I’m absolutely tripping fat sweaty balls.
Oh yeah. So what I was trying to articulate back at 12:01 was that at around 11:50, the nausea became too much and I vomited.
At first it was just a small amount, but I was so hot and my heart rate was so high that I went with it. Eventually I felt so uncomfortable that it became my goal to regurgitate the MDA, so I tried to force myself to vomit further. Which, for some reason, I was unable to do. Forcing two fingers down my throat activated my gag reflex, but didn’t induce further vomiting.
To my dismay, I found no sign of the drug in my vomit.
Now that I’ve had time to settle down, I’m glad that I wasn’t able to regurgitate it. I’m down for the ride, as uncomfortable as it’s been thus far.
I purchased an ounce of weed for my roommate earlier tonight. I bring this up because there’s a funny little story here…
Oh yeah, so about five minutes ago I realized that I left the ounce in my car. I went out the parking lot of our apartment complex to fetch the weed (I put my pants back on first… I’m not that high!!!), and upon arrival realized I forgot to bring something to actually carry it in. An ounce is a little too much to fit in the pockets of my jeans.
If you knew me, you’d find the image of me scurrying back to the apartment cradling this bag of weed like a baby while tripping my ass off to be quite titillating.
Heh. “Titillating.” I love that word.
I am absolutely tripping fucking crazy ass balls right now, man. Fuck.
I wish I would’ve taken more care to describe the initial effects. It was all so quick. I’d say that 30 minutes in, I felt essentially nothing. By 35 minutes, I was tripping balls.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a huge fan of the term “tripping balls” and any and all variants thereof.
It’s very hard not to clench my teeth. For some reason it’s unavoidable while writing.