Open post
The four pieces of the Cali Crusher Homegrown 4 Piece Grinder

Stoner Essentials #8 – Best Weed Grinders Money Can Buy

Best Weed Grinders of 2016

I began my whole journey of writing marijuana inspired product reviews a few months ago with the Stoner Essentials series, which I kicked off with a review of some of my favorite budget-friendly grinders.

However, my intent with that first review was to cover quality yet inexpensive grinders, as I knew first hand that Amazon has a surplus of them. For real though, there’s more grinders in the warehouses of Amazon than gay men’s smartphones.

Anywho, my focus with that first review was to showcase the best grinders that get the job done without breaking the bank. And truth be told, I was just testing the waters of the whole Amazon Associates program, which I have fallen in love with at this point. Not just because of the spare change it’s netted me thus far, but the excuse to buy an absurd amount of weed paraphernalia is just swell. Dandy, even. Continue reading “Stoner Essentials #8 – Best Weed Grinders Money Can Buy”

Open post
A photo of the Kashtray

Stoner Essentials #5 – Best Ashtrays for the Weed-Friendly Household

Best Ashtrays for Weed Smokers

Let’s be real, smoking weed can be a messy affair.

One of the messiest parts of smoking weed is, of course, the whole ash aspect. Or “ashpect,” if you’re Sean Connery.

Before learning of the following products, I made quite a mess in my house by ashing into makeshift ashtrays over the years – including, but not limited to, beer cans, the top parts of scented candles, and little makeshift ghetto-ass tin foil junts I’ve resorted to making myself.

No bullshit, the box that my very first cell phone came in is, as we speak, (not very well) hidden in my old room at my parent’s house, overflowing with damn near a decade’s worth of old weed ash. I still use it whenever I visit. Every time I tell myself I’m going to take care of it. I never do.

I’m contrite to admit, there’ve even been times I’ve just kind off… tossed that junt behind the couch like a booger. I know, shame on me twice; once for doing that, and again for implying that throwing boogers around all willy-nilly is somehow okay. Continue reading “Stoner Essentials #5 – Best Ashtrays for the Weed-Friendly Household”

Open post

Tales from Weekend Jail

It starts on a Friday night.

Depression sinks in. Sitting in traffic after a long week at work, painfully aware that my only free time for the next 7 days is squashed. Leaving the office at 5:00pm allows just enough time to navigate the clusterfuck of Virginia Beach rush-hour traffic between me and my destination. Nothing more.

Overwrought, I envision the next 48 hours.

∴ ∴ ∴

I was arrested for a DUI 3 months ago. It happened on an early Sunday morning around 2am. I took an Uber from the bar to a friends house where I left my car. His door was locked so instead of requesting another Uber, I decided to drive 10 minutes down the road to smoke some bud with another friend of mine. I had been lucky too many times before. This time, I hit a checkpoint. Continue reading “Tales from Weekend Jail”

Open post

Five ways to make your Bedroom a Sanctuary

If humans were houses, the bedroom would be the heart of it all.

Messy room
Photo by melodramababs via Flickr // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

We don’t often realize, but a clean room affects our mood. Messes create a subconscious anxiety; a sense of overhanging duty, and of negative chaos.

Your room should be your fortress. Your place of coveted peace. A restful space for your mind to relax. Treat your room like a sanctuary and it will be one. Continue reading “Five ways to make your Bedroom a Sanctuary”

Open post
A small glass pipe packed with kief

Six Good Reasons I Smoke Weed

I am the founder of a blog in which smoking weed is a primary focus (to put it lightly). So it kind of goes without saying: I like to smoke weed.

Anyone who smokes weed often enough has been asked, usually condescendingly, some form of the following question:

  • Why do you smoke weed?

The other day a friend asked a similar such question. I smoke weed every day, yet it was quite a while since the last time I reflected on the actual reasons for my continued use.

Since the questioner was respectful and seemed genuinely interested in my answer, I wanted to put some thought into it.

When that failed, I promised I would compose a ridiculously thorough response in the form of an article for my blog. Enjoy.

Continue reading “Six Good Reasons I Smoke Weed”

Open post

Daily Show Moment of Zen – Mitt Romney on Music (12/7/2011)

One of my favorite parts of The Daily Show on Comedy Central is its Moment of Zen segment, where a short clip from that day’s news coverage (almost always from one of the three US cable news networks) closes the show unaccompanied by commentary. They’re generally moments of awkwardness, often targeted towards the most dedicated news-junkie. Though recent news coverage has provided for some great “moment of zen” moments, last night ended with a clip of Mitt Romney from back in 1994. And it’s one of the funniest I’ve seen in a while.

Mitt Romney on Music.

Those seven seconds of Mitt Romney’s life sum up his entire political career splendidly. I mean, have you ever heard a more prototypical ‘politician’ response to such a basic question? What a phlegmatic dude.

Being an observer of Romney for a while, I’m sure that what he meant by, “Well, I like music of almost any kind including this,” was, “What is this ‘muzaak’ you speak of?”

Either that or, “Mormons are only allowed to listen to polka.”

Feel free to give your own speculations of what Romney’s honest answer would’ve been.

Being a man of fairness, here’s the video in its full context.


Open post

Rev. Al Sharpton’s Blueberry Pie Promo (VIDEO)

Al Sharpton loves blueberry pie. And metaphors.

Sharpton has been anchoring PoliticsNation on MSNBC for about four months now. Obviously, he’s earned his own promo. There’s no way in hell Sharpton is wasting it in a nasty shipyard like Ed. Not the great Reverend Al Sharpton. He’s gonna stick with what he loves.

Continue reading “Rev. Al Sharpton’s Blueberry Pie Promo (VIDEO)”

The American Lung Association's Baby Wheezing Commercial

Holy balls. I just saw this advertisement on TV by the American Lung Association.

Yeah, holy balls. What an adroit use of babies as a mechanism for guilt.

I say bravo to the American Lung Association for two reasons. The first, but not foremost, of which is the fact this wasn’t an anti-tobacco commercial. Props to them for focusing on a factor effecting American’s lung health other than cigarettes.

The second reason, of course, is the fact that they’re airing thirty seconds of straight baby coughing on national television. That’s hardcore.

The American Lung Association’s Baby Wheezing Commercial

Holy balls. I just saw this advertisement on TV by the American Lung Association.

Yeah, holy balls. What an adroit use of babies as a mechanism for guilt.

I say bravo to the American Lung Association for two reasons. The first, but not foremost, of which is the fact this wasn’t an anti-tobacco commercial. Props to them for focusing on a factor effecting American’s lung health other than cigarettes.

The second reason, of course, is the fact that they’re airing thirty seconds of straight baby coughing on national television. That’s hardcore.

Open post

Female Drivers

Okay, so this may evoke a few negative emotions from some of ya’ll. But oh well; it’d be disingenuous for me not to post it just because of what others may think.

Why the hell do we issue driver’s licenses to females? On the real. That shit blows my mind.

First off, don’t pin the misogynist tail on my ass right away. This has nothing to do with discrimination. It’s about common sense. Women are horrible fucking drivers. See what I did there? That’s bolded, italicized, AND underlined – AND followed by a ‘fucking.’ I think I’ve made my point.

Oh, but of course. My fancy textual ornamentation isn’t enough. Women desire elegance and wisdom. How vacuous of me. Now where was I?

Ummm… Oh yeah! This has nothing to do with discrimination. It’s about common sense.

Clearly there is something programmed deep within females’ genetic coding which, from the moment they enter a driver’s seat to the point they exit, cripples rational thought. It’s probably similar to the gene in deers that causes them to freeze when a vehicle is barreling directly towards them.

This mysterious gene kills.

It’s as though they lose the ability of depth perception once the engine starts. Every decision is hectically mulled over, and eventually executed a half second after no longer being a safe decision.

Example: Female driver preparing to turn left out of a parking lot onto a divided four-lane road. A mini-seisure of hesitation is brought on by the arduous task of judging whether or not the cars coming from either side will reach the intersection before completing the left turn. The cars are about ten seconds from reaching the intersection, and the turn will take about three. The mini-seisure lasts just long enough for the gap in traffic to close. Everyone in the car has long since assumed the driver has decided to wait for the next openingWHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE GUNS IT!!!

Next thing you know, everything is moving in slow motion as Death’s boney index finger scathes the peach-fuzz on your Adam’s apple. “Holy fucking shit! What the fuck was that that!?!?,” the passengers curiously exclaim, “Why didn’t you just go in the first fucking place?!?!”

Humorous. Quirky. Cute, even. Right?

Wrong.

Female are none of those things whilst driving… Tripping over your high-heels at a formal event is humorous. Rapping Lil Wayne’s abhorrently misogynistic lyrics every time one of his songs comes on is quirky. Playing with your hair when you’re bored is cute.

It's funny 'cuz high-heels are stupid. (© StyleCaster.com)

Guess why? Because those things don’t result in multiple deaths every single fucking day. While, on the other hand, a small city’s worth of people are killed in car accidents every year. In fact, I take back what I said earlier about discrimination having nothing to do with it. It is discrimination. Discrimination in the name of saving lives.

But, alas, I have no hard evidence to support these grievances. On the contrary, most empirical data indicates the opposite. Of course, empirical data can’t take into account the male who swerves out of the way of an inept female into another male… But I digress. I could sit here all day and go through a litany of theoretical examples illustrating females’ inferior driving abilities without anything being accomplished.

Luckily, I’m a man of action. And ideas. Ideas first though, then action.

My idea? Revoke the licenses of every female in the United States for two years. Two years, that’s it. If traffic fatalities don’t decrease substantially after those two years, ya’ll can have them back.

That’s not it, though. I’m all about fairness. Here’s the part that the ladies will actually like: in the highly unlikely instance that no visible downward trend of traffic fatalities occurred during those two years, male’s licenses will be revoked for two years.

See? Totally fair. I should run for office.

Summer So Far

I’m in the mood to write right now. Accordingly, I’m going to try to assemble a readable description of my summer so far. I’ll start from the beginning, right around the time I stopped posting on this blog.

The feasibility of acquiring an internship being ambiguous, I accepted the job offered to me by my previous summer employer, whom I worked for the two consecutive summers prior. It’s a solid job at a small summer day-camp where I lifeguard and teach swim lessons to varying-aged groups of children throughout the day; I was to be hired as the “manager” (I put manager in quotes because there’s three guards other than myself). It involves working Monday through Friday from 9:30am to 3:00pm.

Let me take this opportunity to acknowledge the fear present in the hearts of my readers with children. You can rest easy knowing that I genuinely love the children very much and am extremely responsible when it comes to them.

And by “love”, I mean “fear”; and by “children” I mean “parent’s lawyers”, but the effect is the same.

So after committing to this job, I learned of an internship opportunity at a local radio station in my home town. Actually, it’s a company which owns a couple radio stations.

I really wanted to do an internship this summer as the only other alternatives were to do one during either Fall or Spring Semester, which I definitely didn’t wanna do. So about a week before my Summer job started, I began interning for them.

And so hence the position I find myself in now. The lifeguarding job, while stressful, is wholly uninteresting. There’s not really a whole lot going on during it for me to come home and want to write about it.

It’s just boring.

I come in, wait for screaming children to arrive, teach the younger ones how to swim, teach the older ones how to swim better, make sure none of them drown, go home. The other lifeguards are cool, but they’re just as bored as I am. The worst part is that, while boring, it can still be rather exhausting. It’s not construction work, but it’s not the same as most lifeguard jobs, which involve a lot of sitting around in the sun.

Oh yeah, and that’s the other thing. It’s an indoor pool. Do you know how much it sucks to work at an indoor pool during the summer? Let’s just say you can breath easier in a storm cloud. At least storm clouds don’t include noxious pool chemical particulates.

It’s not good for the “creative process” so to speak.

Working at the radio station is mostly pretty cool, except I’m usually so drained by the humid monotony of the lifeguarding job to fully enjoy it and be at my best.

The best slash worst slash best again part of working in radio are the people you meet when one or both of the stations goes out to events.

First and foremost, one of the stations is a contemporary country music station; the listener-base is “redneck” with a side of “southern redneck” and little bits and pieces of “racist redneck” sprinkled on top. So when we sponsor an event or do a broadcast remote, only the most dedicated of the station’s redneck constituency are in attendance.

So out of that sub-constituency of listeners who actually show up, the ones charismatic enough to come up and talk to us are the ones I get to interact with.

Often throughout life, when I’ve seen a person doing a typical redneck impersonation, I’ve thought to myself “Ahhh, they’re not really that bad…”

They’re worse.

It’s as if they’re making fun of the way they talk and act simply by talking and acting. If, within the crowd of rednecks at these events, there were five comedians doing blatantly cliche and offensive impersonations of rednecks, the rednecks and I would be none the wiser.

So that’s what I’ve been up to.

Posts navigation

1 2 3 4 5